My good (& female) friend recently went through a massive tinder binge over the past few months. And at first it seemed like a really awesome thing for her! The massive oversupply of horny guys on the app made choosing a partner ridonculously easy. She literally had a list of tens of guys, with a short list of her favourites….. Supply and demand at work. But her experiences later on in the process of using the app, like dating and whatnot, were overall negative. I found her insight into this relatively new phenomena interesting to say the least; is tinder just another needless technological intervention into a system that needs no change?
You see there are a lot of really good things about tinder! Oh I know that it seems like a really superficial way of meeting people, but let’s be honest, how do people usually meet each other…. In dankly lit clubs with overbearing music while drinking alcohol. As though drunkenly choosing someone in this way is anyway less shallow than swiping through a phone app for someone you like the look of. And it’s not like you can get your drink spiked over tinder.
And as a women you literally have your choice of the population. Don’t like 1 guy after he said something iffy? Well he can just be demoted off your list of potential candidates. That old saying, there’s plenty of fish in the sea? It’s understating how many fish in the sea there are. Because there are a lot. Like I’m talking the most under fished sea in the world. Well the world is meant to be a little over-fished but you get my point. But it’s this at first triumphant selling point that showed a strange dark side to my friend.
Today’s world of continuously expanding technology brings with it a certain optimism for the future. What is a bright treadmill of discovery to most people can be subtle in its flaws; but a more obvious one is its effect on devaluing people and our relationships with said people. So what my friend found over the months of using the app was that she devalued whoever she was seeing. They were just one of her many options that were keeping her amused, and in being so involved with this app, she found it very difficult to take anyone she met through it seriously. I found this an amusing notion, that having something in an extremely large supply, can make your perspective on it lessened. That tinder can make you view the opposite sex as an expendable commodity.
Now this was a problem for her, because she was looking for something a bit more real, but that’s not to say it could be perfect for you. My word on it is this; for those not looking for love, use it. It’s a great shortcut to sex. But if you don’t want your perspective on the other sex stripped down to a numbers game and feel a struggle to connect… then tinder is a bleak hole of horny uninteresting/ed men.
Sorry if this is a little bit similar to last weeks, i was writing it up for a website, so reused some stuff because im lazy. Thought i might as well put it up though!